... describes my relationship with Costco. Maybe it's because I seem to be missing the shopping gene common to so many women. Therefore Costco rocks because - hey! - if I can get three times as much laundry detergent at once, I won't have to go buy it again for three times as long, right? What's not to love?
Well, you see, due to where we live, shopping at Costco is a cross-cultural experience. And let me tell you there are a whole lot of people who need some education and training on assimilating into the North American shopping modus operandi. For instance...
* Please, if you want to bring your entire extended family shopping with you, do not meander slowly through the aisles walking six abreast. Single file, people. Or at least walk in pairs.
* Further, if you want to have a big family discussion about an item you've just discovered, pull your cart and your family off to the side where you're not blocking everyone else. I know, in your eyes we're all lowly peasants and unworthy of your consideration, but news flash - we don't think much of you either.
* You look particularly wretched when we see you using your women like beasts of burden and attempting to treat the (female) store employees that way. No, nobody here is going to carry your two hundred gallons of milk out for you. Man up and do it yourself.
On the other hand, I was oh-so-happy to have two cheerful and helpful young men with me (the third was at school), who were happy to fetch and carry along with me. They pushed two over-loaded carts all through the store and out to the van, and then executed some sort of tetris maneuver to fit everything in.
And oh my word... when you combine three, hungry, growing boys with a somewhat shopping-averse mom, you know what you get? Among other things...
4 dozen eggs
4 pounds of fish sticks
4 pork roasts
4 pounds of butter
6 pounds of craisins
10 pounds of frozen veggies
10 pounds of cheese
12 rolls of paper towels
12 pounds of frozen chicken
18 pounds of white and brown sugar
18 pounds of peanut butter
15 boxes of mac and cheese
24 cans of veggies
96 rolls of toilet paper
150+ granola bars
And probably a partridge in a pear tree, among the ketchup, laundry detergent, refried beans, fruit, and aluminum foil.
And that was my exciting day. Don't you wish you were me?!