Australian Homeschooling Family Finds Ways to Adopt a Public School 'Socialization' Program
"When my wife and I mention we are strongly considering home schooling our children, we are without fail asked, 'But what about socialization?--' Fortunately, we found a way our kids can receive the same socialization that government schools provide.
On Mondays and Wednesdays, I will personally corner my son in the bathroom, give him a wedgie and take his lunch money.
On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my wife will make sure to tease our children for not being in the 'in' crowd, taking special care to poke fun at any physical abnormalities.
Fridays will be 'Fad and Peer Pressure Day.' We will all compete to see who has the coolest toys, the most expensive clothes, and the loudest, fastest, and most dangerous car.
Every day, my wife and I will adhere to a routine of cursing and swearing in the hall, and mentioning our weekend exploits with alcohol and immorality. And we have asked the children to report us to the authorities in the event we mention faith, religion, or try to bring up morals and values."
Note to my in-laws: Apparently this came from an Australian homeschooling journal. It's been sitting in my queue for a few weeks because it cracks me up, and isn't intended to insult you. :0)