Friday, January 2, 2009

Socialization... breaking news

Australian Homeschooling Family Finds Ways to Adopt a Public School 'Socialization' Program

"When my wife and I mention we are strongly considering home schooling our children, we are without fail asked, 'But what about socialization?--' Fortunately, we found a way our kids can receive the same socialization that government schools provide.

On Mondays and Wednesdays, I will personally corner my son in the bathroom, give him a wedgie and take his lunch money.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my wife will make sure to tease our children for not being in the 'in' crowd, taking special care to poke fun at any physical abnormalities.

Fridays will be 'Fad and Peer Pressure Day.' We will all compete to see who has the coolest toys, the most expensive clothes, and the loudest, fastest, and most dangerous car.

Every day, my wife and I will adhere to a routine of cursing and swearing in the hall, and mentioning our weekend exploits with alcohol and immorality. And we have asked the children to report us to the authorities in the event we mention faith, religion, or try to bring up morals and values."

Note to my in-laws: Apparently this came from an Australian homeschooling journal. It's been sitting in my queue for a few weeks because it cracks me up, and isn't intended to insult you. :0)


leahlefler said...

Too funny! My mother in law is a preschool teacher and she had to stop doing show and tell at school because the only kids who would do it were the "priviledged" who used it as a way to show off their popularity with fancy new toys (an iPod for a 4 year old???).

With three kids in the house, I'm sure they get plenty of "socialization" (and if you count the snowmen.. ahem *snowpeople*.. you have enough for an entire classroom)!

Still chuckling.

Deborah said...

Lol! Our poor unsocialized children are missing out on so much!! ;oP

tammy said...

That is hilarious! I give you so much credit and admire all you teach your boys! I myself could not do it, but you think I would want to after teaching in the public school systems the past five years!

Stretch Mark Mama said...


Good one.

Julie said...

Well, I'm only in my 2nd year of homeschoolng, and we have our own brand of insanity :0)

Traci said...

That is so true. I love it.