The Netherlands Are Not Frightening. Really.

Note: If you're one of my few male readers... well... I won't be horrified if you see this or I wouldn't post it, but read at your own risk.

Plus, Ambulance Mommy, if you're reading, I'm remembering a funny story you told back in March...


Someone should tell doctors to be careful what they say…

So, last week I went in for my not-so-annual check-up. My doctor is a man, and I’m fine with that. He’s been my doctor since I was 10 or 12, so we’ve had a long run together. He’s great with the boys. And I’ve always liked his nurses, too.

Anyway. We came to That Part of the exam. To distract myself from the basically unpleasant nature of someone probing my personal “Netherlands”, I started telling the doctor and the nurse the story about Gunnar walking in his sleep.

Meanwhile, apparently I have a tilted uterus. No big deal to me, but the doc is having some difficulty locating my cervix. This has all happened before. I know I have one. Children have passed through it. But, seemingly, it is nowhere to be found. Gone to Texas.

So I’m telling my story, the nurse is listening and nodding with interest and concern, the doc is still dithering around and giving distracted “uh-huh”s, and as I get to the part of the story where Gunnar left the house the doc blurts out, “Well that’s just frightening!”

I froze.

Please. Just tell me you’re referring to the story. That’s all I ask.